Real Life

5 06 2010

I’ve been thinking a whole lot about what people call “real life” these days.  As a recent college graduate I, out of any other age group out there, should know how loosely that phrase is thrown around.  College was, and is, quite frankly, a dream world.  You live far away from home and away from the drama of family life.  But oh boy does it smack you in the face when you finally return home.  Given this economy I have about a -.6 chance of affording to live on my own within the next year.  Sounds promising doesn’t it?  And that is if I can find a job… I’ll talk about that at a later date… I have enough on my plate for now as is.  So that means that I, a 21 year old fresh out of college, must re-learn what it is like to live at home.  Yikes.  Not as easy as it sounds I’ll tell you that much right now.

So what does this all have to do with “real life”?  I’ll tell you… it has a funny way of rearing its ugly spotted head just when you think that you are losing your mind already.  The past two weeks that I have been home have been the most emotionally draining two weeks of my entire life thus far.  I know… sounds overly dramatic right?  Sorry, I’m sadly not exaggerating.  I have literally cried hysterically (both curled up in a ball on my bed and to my boyfriend) almost every day this week about something new each time… and for me, that’s saying something.

Firstly, I had to come to terms with the fact that I have absolutely no means of living on my own anytime in the near future.  I can deal with the tiny room and the twin bed… but the actual living at home is highly unappealing.  All the “where are you going”s, “when are you going to be home”s, “what about dinner”s, and just general having someone constantly checking in and up on me is a bit unnerving after being on your own for 4 years.  I purposefully had minimal contact with my parents while in college just so maybe this transition of moving home again wouldn’t be quite as painful (and by minimal I mean talking only once or twice a week via phone… not including emails and texts).  It seems though, that this did not help in the slightest and it may have only exacerbated the problem at hand.  All that advice that says “oh well just make a deal with your parents that a) you do your part around the house: your own laundry, dishes, car payments, etc., and b) your parents in turn will leave you alone and let you come and go as you please is a load of crap.  I don’t know about you… but that will NOT fly in my house.

Secondly, I have no job and no income.  Fabulous!  And I get to start paying my student loans back soon!  Sweet!!!

Thirdly, I feel like I am dealing with issues that should have been handled way before I got out of school.  Like, do I have health insurance now?  It seems important that I would know the answer to this question… but when my Mom asked me the other day if I knew, and I said “well if my school health insurance policy ended I can just be put onto yours,” I found out, to my dismay, that my mother does not even have health insurance.  Well that’s just peachy.  I’m literally flabbergasted.  I tried talking to her about it… how this is a very serious matter… how whatever percentage of bankruptcies are caused by high medical bills when people don’t have insurance… how it’s irresponsible of her as a 50 something year old woman to not have had a check-up or physical in years… how she needs to get a full time decent paying job with benefits so that she can have health insurance and a decent income… how she needs to actually look for this decent job with benefits cause it’s not going to fall into her lap…  And do you want to know what she said??  Her response… was “yes”ing me.  And I officially feel like I have a twelve year old child.  Fantastic!  At least I passed the terrible twos already!!


Two Weeks In…

2 06 2010

I’ve now been a college graduate for a whole 2 weeks now, and I am still utterly, without-a-doubtedly, jobless and confused.  Do I know what I want to do?  Of course not.  Do I have any inkling about whether or not to go on to grad school?  Maybe.  But I have yet to pick a subject that I would actually want to go back to school for.  I’ve contemplated law, the culinary arts, even creative or journalistic writing.  Let’s just say I’m all over the place when it comes to that question…  Do I want to live at home forever to save up on money?  No.  Definitely not.  But can I afford to move out now?  ‘Course not!  Hence the predicament I’m in.

I decided to start this blog to detail just how freaking hard it is for a college graduate nowadays to a) decide what they want to do; b) actually get close to doing what it is that they want to do; and c) to not go crazy living at home while trying to complete tasks a and b.  Sound difficult?  Yup it sure is.  But don’t you worry your furry little socks off… I have not exactly had the most hectic two weeks.  Though, yes, I was job hunting most of the time (CraigsList, Monster, eRecruiting, whatever), I did find plenty of time for a couple beach days and the Jones Beach Air Show!

Wish me luck!!!